Poet Alden Nowlan said: "The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself he becomes wise."

What is commonly (and mistakenly) called the prayer of St. Francis was actually written by American religious thinker Reinhold Niebuhr. After the Second World War he became a "crisis chaplain" and wrote: "God, give us the serenity to accept what we cannot change. Give us the courage to change what should be changed. Give us the wisdom to distinguish one from the other."

St. Francis of Assisi did write: "Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither anger nor vexation. Where there is poverty and joy, there is neither greed nor avarice. Where there is peace and meditation, there is neither anxiety nor doubt."

I don’t know if Sir Winston Churchill was thinking of old people and wisdom when he wrote, "All wisdom is not new wisdom, and the past should be successfully encountered." Because he wrote that in 1943, he was probably reflecting on the repeated follies of war. However, because he had a profound respect for the elderly, we can probably assume he felt we could learn from their past, too.

Wisdom, if it comes at all, seems to come with age. Think of your own circle of family and friends and identify those you would consider wise men and women. You will probably wind up with a short list of older people. Then it’s interesting to figure out why you consider them special.

I asked a number of people what wisdom meant to them. One woman said she thought serenity was the key. Another said wise people seem to be able to put their disappointments and failures behind them. They are not eaten up by regrets and bitterness.

One of the most appealing faces of wisdom to my mind is worn by the person who has dropped all pretence. What others think about them becomes unimportant. The need to impress has evaporated. Material possessions become gifts to be shared with others. Egocentric interests are put to rest.

Older persons with wisdom seem to continue to enjoy a high degree of life satisfaction and happiness. They never lose a sense of purpose and continuity in their lives. Even when they cut back on community involvement because of physical limitations, life can be rich.

Rather than pity those who demonstrate a decreasing interest in superfluous social relations and material goods, we might look with pity on people who continue to be obsessed with social engagements and social status.

Thoughtful observers sometimes claim that an individual who accepts life - no matter how good or bad it has been - achieves a state of harmony within themselves that overcomes any sense of despair or fear of illness and death.

And so, if you are looking for signs of wisdom, philosophers offer some clues to the riddle. The wise person has an increased knowledge of self, both the good and the bad; there is a rejection of social masks; they work for others instead of for self; they have a new and broader definition of who and what they are that transcends job descriptions.

The wise are willing to make themselves appear foolish by asking what to some might seem like a silly question. Look for an ability to accept that some things in life cannot be understood. You might observe the wise person has a sense of understanding and accepting life in hindsight and an acceptance that it is not the individual but the total flow of life that is important.

Society has a tendency to reject aging individuals. The individual also gradually retreats from society and turns inwards. This two-way process has a purpose. It is a preparation for death.

Because disengagement is natural and associated with inner harmony, there is a lesson here for caregivers. Well-intentioned efforts to get mother out to a social event or recreational activity might be totally inappropriate.

Listen to the very old. Ask them about their needs and preference and the reward could be increased understanding among the members of your family.

I know a couple in their late eighties who have had to face the fact that one of them is terminally ill. They have made adjustments in their lives to accommodate this development.

However, they have not become preoccupied with the eventual changes it will bring. Because their lives and finances are orderly, they have time for each other, for family and for friends. They are content and in her words, "wisdom to the soul is what health is to the body."